You are the universe expressing itself as a human for a little while…

               … So many inspiring quotes reposted all over Facebook news feed tell us how great and infinite each and every one of us is. But let’s get back to reality. What do we mostly care about a lot of times, especially in college? How our hair looks before we go to the party; whether that hot guy sitting across the room from us is single. And if he is taken – to what degree is he trapped and how much effort it will take to entrap him. Whatever we do, we want to be the most beautiful, the most intelligent, and the most popular person in the room. Basically, we are just really really selfish and we tend to compare ourselves to others.

               According to Festinger’s social comparison theory, we are not fully capable of evaluating ourselves based on our own personal opinion, so we define ourselves through social circles we are involved in – family, friends, classmates, teammates, co-workers. In other words, our environment influences the way we think of ourselves (Festinger, 1954). I, personally, have been living outside of my home country for more than 3 years. And now I strongly identify myself with being Russian – because no one else around me ever is. By now it actually almost comes naturally to me to introduce myself like that: “Hello, my name is Ksenia and I am Russian.” In addition, you can certainly see the effects of it right now in front of you - in this blog.

               Another example of social comparison theory in daily life is that a lot of people are being insecure about the way they look. And I believe that it certainly comes from being exposed to seeing perfectly-shaped bodies all over Internet, magazines and television. In fact, we have a reason to be insecure, because this comparison forms the opinion of others about us. Robert Caldini in his book Influence mentions a study by Arizona State and Montana State Universities where college male students were shown pictures of the potential blind date candidates for them. And guys would always rate a picture less attractive after watching a popular TV show Charlie’s Angels with some eye-catching actresses - because it's quite hard for an average college student to look like a famous actress on the screen (Cialdini, 2007).

              To sum it up, I’d like to tell you – as social psychologists suggest, we are hard-wired to judge ourselves and to be judged. But please, don’t take it too close to your heart. (After all, there are more than 7 billion people in the world - you’ll always be able to find someone who is waaay worse off than you are! :) Hang in there and let Alex share some of his unbeatable attitude with you:

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Cialdini, Robert B.. Influence: the psychology of persuasion. Rev. ed. ; 1st Collins business essentials ed. (pp. 18-19). New York: Collins, 2007. Print.

Festinger, L. "A Theory Of Social Comparison Processes." Human Relations 7.2 (1954): 117-140. Print.

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