Not Better. Not Worse. Just Different.

Trust me, these 6 words are the most helpful attitude to keep in mind when you have to move half-way across the world and interact with people from a completely opposite from yours environment and background.

Well, thanks to my adventurous spirit, I’ve done that more than once and can’t say that I haven’t been stung by some things here and there, but at least now I have some stories to tell! As Axtell (1993) claims, different cultures have different social norms of nonverbal communication (Axtell, 1993). And I can tell you - for sure, it’s true!

Two years ago I moved to Bulgaria to go the University there. My acquaintance with Bulgaria started before I even got there: on the plane from Moscow (the capital of Russia) to Sofia (the capital of Bulgaria). I slept through the dinner time and when I woke up, I nicely asked the flight attendant to bring me some tea. She didn’t say a single word, simply shook her head, and left: 

NOOOOOO!

 I was sitting there absolutely shocked by how rude she was. But in a few minutes she all of a sudden came back handing me a cup of tea. So… that was really weird. And only some time later I found out that, as mentioned in our textbook, Bulgarians nod when they are saying no and shake their heads when saying yes. I’ve tried to re-teach myself to agree and disagree in that manner, but the only progress I’ve made was not doing either of those things. I now express my answer only verbally to avoid the confusion.

A great part of my personal cultural experiences comes from being Russian. If I trusted Internet, I would be scared of meeting myself! I mean… did you see any of these?

My absolute favorite (At the beginning the guy says, "Here's a focet that drinks water.")

Well, I can only hope that people are filtering the information they see. But I'll give you a few advices on how to survive in Russia: Russians don’t communicate with people they don’t know. You never say “Oh, I love your shoes!” to some stranger on the street. And you don’t smile at people. In fact, if you do, they might think that something is actually wrong and you are emotionally unstable. Another thing that is cardinally different between Russia and America is the intention behind “How are you?” question. In the USA it’s seen as a social norm and a polite greeting and can be addressed to absolutely anyone. In Russia you only ask that to a very close person, and you really mean it. It always turns into a long, deep conversation. The best way to describe it is to say that it’s very душевный, which would literally translate into English as “soulful”. 

All in all, wherever you are and whoever you are with, please, remember to be polite, respectful, considerate and your: 

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Axtell, R. E. (1993). Do's and taboos around the world (3rd ed.). New York: John Wiley.

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