I are. We am.

Living right on the border between Europe and Asia, I was very interested in the article by Ziva Kunda (1999) on how the Eastern and Western-raised societies view the world, themselves, their community and environment. However, instead of talking about the differences in the perception of the world by Eastern and Western-raised individuals (Kunda, 1999), I will talk about myself, my sister and my grandmother. You might ask how these two topics can possibly have something in common, but they do. So, here is my story:

My grandmother was born in 1938, which means that she grew up under a strong Soviet Union influence and their propaganda of communism. The main political idea of that time was having everything centralized – from economy to the thoughts of every single individual. They were living in the society that was doing everything possible to erase any sense of being “special” and standing out from your peers in any way. Even my mom who was born in the 70’s has a picture from the summer camp where every single kid is dressed the same - because they would take away clothes you came with and give you the same shorts, t-shirts, socks, shoes and other basic items since you cannot be different from anyone else. 

Unfortunately, this is not my mom’s picture but it looks very much like it.

I, on the other side, was born in 1994 and my sister – in 2003 (the Soviet Union fell in 1991). And besides small cultural differences, we were raised on the ideas of the Western society: capitalism, democracy. Pretty much the same ideals you were taught growing up in America. And this drastic change of mindset of a whole nation from the communism to modern society makes my peers’ communication with the generation of our grandparents extremely challenging. For example, this past summer I and my sister were staying at my grandparents’. We picked up some strawberries from the garden and put them in a bowl on the table. My sister picked out the biggest and reddest berries there were and was about to eat them by herself. And I see absolutely no problem with that. In fact, I think she is smart for choosing the best she is offered – the bowl has been on the table the whole day, anyone could have done it. But my grandmother made a really big deal out of it, “How did you dare to think you deserve the best ones? Did you ask anyone around if they wanted this specific berry you are eating right now? You are the youngest one, you should not have started eating before everyone else”. So… that’s how it happens – out of nowhere a big argument all of a sudden appears.

I feel like my grandmother is from Asia, where “the nail that stands out gets pounded down” (Kunda, 1999). And me and my sister are from Europe, where “the squeaky wheel gets the grease” (Kunda, 1999). And even though it is hard for us to understand each other, I am trying to be patient and since past week I also know that it is just a fundamental attribution error – considering the personal importance and underestimating the role of situation (Ross, 1977).  So, it is natural for our misunderstandings to happen.  I will always love my family anyway!  <3

The best babushka in the world! :)

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Kunda, Z. (1999). Culture. Social Cognition: Making Sense of People (pp. 17-25). Cambridge, MA: MIT.

 

Ross, L. (1977). The intuitive psychologist and his shortcomings: Distortions in the attribution process. In L. Berkowitz (Ed.), Advances in experimental social psychology (Vol. 10, pp. 174-221). New York: Academic Press.

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